I’m not going to lie. This summer is hard for this mama. Last summer, we had some milestones in the maturity of our little daughter. She decided she was ready for drop-off camps. Inside, I panicked. Outside, I paid and confidently dropped off my precious cargo to ill-equipped young camp leaders who, in my best estimation, were going to forget to watch for my little dreamer and lose her somewhere outside where bears and snakes would eat her. Yes, I’m dramatic. This was gymnastics day camp……half days……..for about 5 days. She never even saw the sun or breathed the fresh air. She was inside all day with adults and constant supervision. And I picked her up each day around lunchtime. *insert dramatic sigh*
Well, this summer she’s interested in church camp. Let’s see, if mama is freaking out at simple half day gymnastics camp here in town where I drop off and pick up each day, somehow I have to get myself into the brain space of a week long sleepover camp in another town being watched by other moms! Inside my head there is much screaming. Well, my gut decision was to say a firm no way. But I breathed and took some time to think about it and try to be a normal mom instead of an over-protective helicopter mom. Ok, if I can be a chaperone I’ll figure out a way to make it possible. She’s six, so it’s still acceptable to be there with her. Dear God, what happened to my swaddling baby?!
So, I’ve now gone to buy sleeping bags and towels and snacks and bug spray and sunscreen. Did you know they make an extra long sleeping bag for us giants? They do! I own it now! I’ve even bought a single cup coffee maker super cheap so I can fill my caffeine tank whenever I need to right in my wild little room filled with screaming girls. There’s this chaotic place in my head that’s not sure exactly how to proceed. I’m the type of girl that is pretty much always put together. I wear makeup every day. I dry my hair every day. I drink copious amounts of coffee every day. Where will all this fit into a sleepover camp for kids? The perfectionist, overly controlling side of me is just about to cry, I have to admit. But I’m going to suck it up and allow these kids and other moms to see what only my husband and children see, the un-made up me. Let’s all take a moment to breathe for me.
In all seriousness, I’d like to be able to take the time to do all that I’m used to. But it’s no big deal. What I’m focused on really is that my little girl is growing up, whether I like it or not.
We parents spend all our breathing life moments filling our children to overflowing with character lessons and confidence to handle life as they grow. This is a normal evolution of a child and parent relationship. This is the first of oh so many steps she will take toward independence. And this is what I’ve worked for. I can’t hold her back. And I don’t want to, really. The struggle within is real.
I’m nervous that she’ll have trouble getting along with all the different personalities of kids that will be there. But she’ll figure it out. I’m nervous she won’t find something she likes to eat; she’s terribly picky. But she won’t starve. I’m nervous she’ll be swimming in a pool and struggle. But she’s a great swimmer and always careful. She’ll be fine.
I’m a praying mother. This is what I’ve worked toward. She’s not moving away. She’s just going to camp. She’s only six. It’s ok, mama. She’s budding wings to soar high in the sky when she’s grown. I can’t cut them before she has a chance to even learn to use them.